I remember back when this whole pandemic started, before we all understood the severity of our predicament and Spring Break was on the second week of March, I thought to myself, "I wonder what would happen if I pretended capitalism doesn't exist." Obviously that isn't a reality. But it was interesting to conceptualize what I would do if I no longer tied my daily agenda to producing something. What if I no longer needed to worry about waking up and checking my email? Or creating pomodoro cycles to write my thesis? Or thinking about what gentrification case study to read on next? What would I even do?
I started asking myself, "Who am I outside of productivity?" What do I like to do? What are my goals? What purpose do I give myself? This became a slippery slope because, honestly, these questions lead you on a depressing road, especially when you have equated your self worth to how much you produce. However, what was magical in this journey was the realization that it is a path toward decolonization. Our ancestors did not embellish their livelihoods with the aspirations of mass production. We instead tell stories, create art, and enjoy nature. My own temperament is to connect with others on emotional levels and learn from them. To laugh and to bond. It is these in qualities that I now try to establish my self worth.
Writing this blog alone, under my own will, without any academic or professional entity pushing me to do so, is a liberating experience.
Who am I outside of social justice? You can't say, "I am social justice." That wouldn't make sense. Nor would it be remarkable, as an inherent desire for justice in today's world is a basic, non-political goal.
(This blog post was originally written on 9/20/20 but was never published.)
